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Behind the Mask

I have decided to live on purpose! I know this seems like a concept that was taught yesterday....but I admit I skipped a lot of classes in high school. I was listening to the radio this morning and realized that I too am just going through the motions and life is totally passing me by! I know that God created me for something MUCH greater and who am I to decide not to use my gifts for the greater good. I'm no one that's who! {I feel that it's only necessary to also admit that I am a serial exclamation point and smiley face user-I'll have to work on that too} I have been feeling like a member of the 'left behind' group for some time now, but I suppose I am finally ready to commit to changing. My first step in removing my mask is to openly admit the things that I hide from everyone, and by everyone I AM including myself. Self deception is a mask of the worst kind! If I don't admit who I truly am then how am I going to expect others to accept me?  Here goes..... I am plagued by loneliness and feel invisible to practically everyone. I know you're probably thinking I just described every woman that you know, but it's a big deal to me. I don't possess mad magician skillz like David Copperfield nor do I own an invisibility cloak! These are truths that I am well aware of. It's more like being in a constant state of forgetful~ except that it's me that you forget about and not just who took the trash out last. Have you ever walked into a new group of people and know that you will remember everyone you meet but feel no one will remember you (and usually they don't)? I am a single mom and have been divorced for almost ten years now. I don't have the companionship that practically....no ALL of my friends do. I have been a member of two different churches and I always choose between joining the married class or the singles class full of college students. Grrr. I don't think many people realize how much this upsets a person like me. I make fun of myself and cover up my pain with bad jokes and a bunch of laughter!! There it is~ Celeste uncensored.

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